Jerry Seinfeld

Episode no. 140

George and Jerry are in Jerry’s apartment.

George: I still don’t understand this. Abby has a mentor?

Jerry: Yes. And the mentor advises the protégé.

George: Is there any money involved?

Jerry: No.

George: So what’s in it for the mentor?

Jerry: Respect, admiration, prestige.

George: Pssh. Would the protégé pick up stuff for the mentor?

Jerry: I suppose if it was on the protégé’s way to the mentor, they might.

George: Laundry? Dry cleaning?

Jerry: It’s not a valet, it’s a protégé.

George: Alright. Listen, I gotta get some reading done. You mind if I do this here? I can’t concentrate in my apartment.

Jerry (checking out George’s textbook): Risk management?

George: Yeah. Steinbrenner wants everyone in the front office to give a lecture in their area of business expertise.

Jerry: Well what makes them think you’re a risk management expert?

George: I guess it’s on my resume.

The phone rings, Jerry answers.

Jerry: Hello?

Voice: Please hold for Elaine Benes.

George: You know what? I can’t do this. I can’t read books anymore; books on tape have ruined me, Jerry. I need that nice voice. This book has *my* voice. I hate my voice.

Jerry: So get this book on tape.

George: You can’t, it’s a textbook.

Elaine: Hey, Jer. Are you going to this Bob Sacamano party?

Jerry: Am I going? It was three nights ago.

Elaine: What? You’re kidding, I just got this invitation today. Oh, I was so
excited. It’s really a beautiful invitation.

Jerry: Oh, it was a lovely affair.

Elaine: Wait a minute; this postmark is three weeks old. Man, this happens all the time. (Into intercom) Jeanine? Who the hell runs the mailroom?

Jeanine: Eddie Sherman.

Elaine: Alright, send him up here.

Jerry: You gonna do a little yelling?

Elaine: I’m gonna do a little firing.

Jerry: That is so cool, can you put me on the speaker?

Elaine: Oh yeah, sure. (hangs up) Gimme a break.

Jerry gets a dial tone and hangs up; he looks over at George who has nodded off with the book  his lap. Jerry picks up a peanut and tosses it at George, hitting him in the glasses and waking him up.

I agree with George!

In 2004 Duke Skarda introduced me to Audible.com.  Audible is a really easy to use online library, where you can download books to iTunes.

Since 2004, I’ve listened to 100’s of books.  I have 2 accounts and use the platinum membership for each.   You can get most books unabridged, and listen to them on your iPod while you workout or drive.

I still read … but without Audible, I would probably only get through 1 or 2 books a month.  With Audible, I can devour 8-10 books a month.  This past month I have read/listened to 6 books on the Tudors.  And like George, I really like the nice voice.  HINT - read the customer reviews … occassionally the voice isn’t nice, and that ruins the book!