Dilbert created a site to poke fun at IT mission statements. Remember my post - Allocated Expense is Bad - where I discussed how having a centralized IT group made it difficult to determine priorities?
I once worked in a centralized IT group and I’m pretty sure that management used the Dilbert Mission Statement Generator (no longer available online - RATS!!!) to come up with the IT mission statement. (Each group needed a mission statement for their Balanced Scorecard … I will cover my thoughts on our scorecards in a later blog)
Here are a few that Dilbert generated:
It is our mission to completely utilize mission-critical opportunities to stay competitive in tomorrow’s world
Our mission is to proactively coordinate emerging sources in order to solve business problems
Our mission is to continue to conveniently supply seven-habits-conforming data such that we may continue to authoritatively integrate value-added catalysts for change while promoting personal employee growth
It is our job to dramatically network prospective products so that we may authoritatively utilize interdependent solutions to stay competitive in tomorrow’s world
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[…] designation, one of the core concepts of strategy was to develop an organizations Vision, Mission and Values. Brief and incomplete definitions of these as I understand them, and have used them, […]