In light of these tough economic times, our HR department has put together a list of morale-boosting suggestions:
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice)
3. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
4. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you’re doing. For example: ‘If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.”
5. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
6. Insist that your email address be, “xena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com”
7. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
8. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chairdancing.
9. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it ‘IN’.
10. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
11. Send email messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc., in the break room. When people
complain that there was nothing there, lean back, rub your stomach, and say, “You’ve got to be faster than that.”
12. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.
13. In the memo field of all your checks, write ‘narcotics budget’.
14. Reply to everything someone says with, “That’s what you think.”
15. Finish all your sentences with, “in accordance with the prophecy.”
16. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
17. Don’t use any punctuation
18. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
19. Ask people what sex they are.
20. Specify that your drive-through order is ‘to go’.
21. Sing along at the opera.
22. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
23. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
If you liked my post, feel free to subscribe to my rss feeds
BlogoSquare